Labor Day & Birth Stories......

Today and all week local doula and blogger, Mother Rising, is asking Mammas to share our birth stories with each other "for our greater good." Of course, I couldn't pass up yet another opportunity to share Maggie's beautiful birth again! You can also read here why this L&D nurse chose a homebirth after two hospital births.

I have always said that reading other women's stories kept me inspired & encouraged during my pregnancy. Yet, my hope is that my daughters will read these same/similar stories one day and not be afraid of birth. So, to answer one of Lindsey's questions....What is my favorite moment? My favorite moment was when it was just me, Hannah, & Sarah (my daughters) alone in my bedroom awaiting our birthing dream team to arrive. They were the BEST doulas ever! And I remember thinking "this is how it's suppose to be."

From

"Birth Talk for Women of Color"

A new blog for all women, The Mahogany Way Birth Cafe, recently had a call for birth stories. Of course, I submitted Maggie's birth story and it was chosen for the very first story! I still love sharing her birth and hope that it can inspire/encourage someone like the stories I read while I was pregnant.

If you enjoy the Mahogany Way Birth Cafe, you can check out Darcel blogging about life at The Mahogany Way. She has also set up a great on-line community for women to discuss everything from birth, breastfeeding, cloth diapers, and homeschooling.

A year later & still sharing

One year later and still sharing my story. Maggie was born just over a year ago and I love to share her story. Like I've previously mentioned, reading others' stories kept me inspired during my pregnancy and reiterated my faith in birth. I recently shared Maggie's birth story with indie birth. It's "intellectual fuel for free thinking mamas...."

A HomeBirthin Labor & Delivery Nurse...that's me!

12wks and 4 days ago I had the most profound experience that has forever changed my life. An experience that has renewed my love and passion for pregnancy & birth. An experience that reminded me of my childhood desires to "deliver babies." An experience that solidified my calling...the calling to be a Midwife that I've carried since I was 8yrs old! Yes, I believe that my Lord has placed a calling on my life to be "with women" during their pregnancies & birth.

As a child the only person that I knew who delivered babies was Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable from the Cosby Show..."push 'em out, shove 'em out, way out!" So, naively I thought I wanted to be an Obstetrician. I went off to college with the pursuit of caring the title MD. But the Lord showed me a different plan and being the obedient child that I am, I went to nursing school. There I learned about Midwifery & my soul stirred.

I sit at another crossroad in life. I have to go back to work tonight as a L&D nurse. My heart aches...aches to leave my new baby...aches to miss out on family time...aches to return to what medicine & science has done with God's perfect gift of birth. As my eyes fill with tears yet again, I am reminded of the encouraging words from a dear friend. This is my season...my time to be a Labor & Delivery nurse. My time to be with women in a different role.

So, tonight I return to work as a Homebirthin Labor & Delivery nurse. I realize that this season is starting to come to an end and it is indeed time to plan for my next role. The big question is Certified Nurse Midwife (CNM) or Certified Professional Midwife (CPM)!?!?! I'm awaiting the Lord's Word.

Bring Birth Home

I am so excited! Mariah's birth story has been posted onto the Bring Birth Home site. It's a great site full of stories & resources for women who choose to birth at home. I truly enjoyed reading birth stories when I was pregnant. They kept me inspired & are a true testament to the miracle of birth.

Why a HomeBirth?

I gave birth to my 3rd child at Home a little over 6wks ago. It was the most amazing experience…one that has changed me forever. With that said many family members, friends & peers question my choice. “Why?” I could simply answer, “why not?” However, I won’t. I want to share my “why.”

So, I choose to give birth to my baby girl at home because……

1. It was BEST for Mariah, me, and our family
(multiple studies have determined that low-risk women who have planned homebirths attended by a Midwife have better maternal & fetal outcomes than delivering in a hospital)

2. I wanted to!!!

3. My Grandmother did it 4 times!
(My Grandmother had 2 hospital births & 4 homebirths. I asked her why did she go to the hospital & she said “cause I didn’t know any better.”)

4. I wanted my girls present & did not want to be separated from them
(they would not have been allowed to spend the night with me in the hospital & Sarah would not have been happy about that! And I was worried that being in a hospital would scare them)

5. It was obviously more convenient for me & Leonard
(no running to the hospital while laboring, no awakening sleeping kids to get to hospital, no need to make arrangements for the kids for our 48hr post partum hospital stay)

6. I wanted to have more control

7. Privacy!

8. I didn’t want to worry about routine hospital policies & procedures

9. I didn’t want to be a L&D nurse having a baby. I wanted to be a woman giving birth to her child
(I found it very difficult to stop being a nurse with my previous births. I wanted to be a “good little” patient for my nurse)

10. I wanted to take back my right to birth how I choose
(I’m NOT saying my previous births were “bad”. It goes back to my control issues)

11. I wanted to sleep in my own bed
(I had the worst backache after my first 2 deliveries and I swear it was due to those uncomfortable hospital beds. I could never get comfortable)

12. I wanted my Baby Girl to sleep with me in our bed

13. I didn’t want to argue with the post partum nurses about co-sleeping and choosing to feed my baby when she wanted to eat
(I don’t wake my babies for feedings. I follow their cues and feed them when they want to eat)

14. I wanted the option to have a water birth
(the hospital has jetted tubs for comfort, but patients are not allowed to deliver in them & the aren’t large enough for my 5’11 frame!)

15. I wanted my girls to know that they too had a choice!

16. I have faith in God & what he created my body to do

17. I believe that birth is natural & doesn’t always require medical intervention

18. I wanted an unmedicated labor/birth

19. I wanted the freedom to do what I wanted when I wanted

20. Why the hell not?

With all that said, I do realize that ALL women should NOT deliver their babies at home. Unfortunately, some pregnancies do cause illness or have complications that medical intervention is necessary for a good outcome. By no means am I knocking my friends & peers who work with me in L&D and Mom-Baby. We are truly privileged to be a part of so many women’s births and have witnessed some amazing women birthing how they choose ("naturally", C-section, VBACs, with IV meds, & epidurals).

We did not make this decision lightly. Leonard & I researched the prospect of a home delivery in great deal before even deciding to have another child. I wanted to be certain of our decision even before needing to make it (again that control stuff). This is a quote I read & it just sums it all up for me. "To women who choose a home birth, it’s a risk worth taking. Birth is a very powerful experience. I felt that being at home allowed that process to unfold in the safest and best way for my body and my baby.”

Mariah's Birth Story in Pics

Mariah's Birth Story

January 11, 2010

This Monday started off like most Mondays for me. I got off work at 7am after working a 12hr night shift on L&D. The night wasn’t particularly busy. I had one delivery that I probably wont forget for awhile. The family was very supportive and helpful and one of the CNMs came in special for her. We talked off and on about my plans for a homebirth. The family was very amused by plans, but weren’t rude like so many others.

Well, when I got home Leonard had already taken the older kids (Hannah & Amari) to the bus stop. I noticed that I was feeling some contractions off/on, but nothing remarkable. They were noticeably “different” from previous Braxton Hicks (stronger & lower), but weren’t lasting long & very irregular. I ate breakfast (waffle & eggs) with Sarah in bed and we both layed down for a nap around 10a. She’s usually bursting at the seams with energy when I get home, but this morning she wanted to nap with me. And we did nap…until 2p!

On the drive to the bus stop to meet the kids, I noticed the “different” contractions again. I thought nothing of them because I was able to nap through them and they weren’t bothering me too much now. I scooped up the kids at 3p and headed back home. When we got home the kids went to play with a friend before doing homework. I took this opportunity to take a stroll around the neighborhood. It had been freezing cold for days & it was actually pretty nice out. Again, those “different” contractions were there. Yet, I could keep strolling right through them. When I got back home, the kids were still out. So, I layed down for awhile (until 430p). I then rallied the kids for homework.

We worked on homework until Leonard got home (a little after 6p). These “different” contractions were becoming a little more regular (maybe every 10min), but still weren’t lasting long (<60sec). I decided to take a warm shower. I was thinking, “either these have to pick up & show me a sign that it is labor OR chill out!” During my 30min shower these “different” contractions were becoming more regular, but I still wasn’t convinced. “Maybe it’s just the nipple stim from the shower.” Leonard kept checking in and asking to call the midwife. I kept attempting to reassure him that I was NOT in labor, but did ask him to get the kids ready for bed (before 7p?). I guess that was all he needed to hear. He went into full labor mode….tidying up the house, situating the kids, looking for his “what to do if the baby comes before the midwife” checklist. Unfortunately, I still wasn’t convinced. I was waiting for some big blob of mucous or bloody show…just something!

I got out the shower and decided to call Adrienne (a very dear friend and L&D nurse too). I told her I wasn’t sure and told her how I was feeling. She told me not to wait until the last minute because I was already dilated 3-4cm and this was my third baby. Yet, I still wasn’t sure. I told her I was going to lay down and give it another couple hours. I then remembered another dear friend, Alicia. I had asked her to be present for the birth too. If this was the real deal, she would need time to prepare and get her baby girl all situated as well. So, I called her too. I will NEVER forget this phone call! Me – “Licia” (with my heavy breathing). Licia – “Hey, what’s going on?” (in her soft sweet voice). Me – “I’m sitting on the toilet.” Licia – “Ok. I don’t think I’ve ever talked to you while you were on the toilet before.” It was quite amusing looking back on it. I shared with her my same thoughts that I had with Adrienne.

So, I attempted to rest. These “different” contractions were regular and not letting off with a shower & rest. OK. I decided to call Adrienne back and ask her to come examine me. My biggest concern was calling the midwife too soon. I’m a L&D nurse….I should recognize labor….maybe?!?!? Adrienne was already up and getting dressed when I called back, BUT she lives 45min away! Leonard continued to ask about calling the midwife. I reassured him that Adrienne was on her way & I would call the midwife after she got there….if I was indeed in labor. I watched the clock while alternating positions between the birth ball and hands/knees. I was eagerly waiting to hop into that warm birthing pool, but didn’t want to get in too soon & stall labor. The girls, Hannah & Sarah, were great doulas! They took turns holding my hands and rubbing my back. All those homebirth books prepared them well. There was no fear between the two of them.

Adrienne finally arrived about 9pm and examined me. She said I was 6cm with a bulging bag and that the head was low. I had Adrienne call Alicia & Leonard page the midwife while I promptly undressed and jumped into that pool. The water was initially too hot & Leonard began running around trying to hook up the hose to cool it off. It was a little entertaining! The water was all that I had dreamed it to be. The contractions felt less intense. I was able to talk with the girls & Adrienne in between. It was ideal! I lost track of time after Adrienne arrived. I know that Alicia arrived shortly after and Alice, the midwife, arrived about 10p.

Alice carried in all of her bags and made a place for them in the bedroom. She then dopplered the baby’s heart beat. She commented that the water was too warm & my temp was mildly elevated. So, I had to get out! Oh, no! Leonard was in full affect again trying to cool the water off. While he was doing that, I sat on the toilet. The contractions were soo much stronger and came a lot more often outside the pool. Sitting there, I felt something had changed…something was different. So, I asked Alice to examine me. I layed down in bed praying that I was more than 6cm! I was! I was 9.5 cm with a bulging bag! My mind went into a tail spin. I could not believe it! (Around 11p)

Leonard crawled into bed with me. I lay on my side and wrapped my arms around his neck. I turned on my favorite CD of Praise & Worship and tried to stay focus. It was like my pain went from “0 to 10” when she told me I was 9.5 cm (note…my pain was not a 0). Christy, the student midwife, and Alicia were great with encouraging me to remain relaxed. “Open jaw…open bottom.” Laying in bed eventually became unbearable and I slipped back into the pool. “Awwwwww.”

I waited for this unbearable “urge to push.” It never came. I started to feel some rectal pressure with the peak of the contractions and would bear down slightly. I did this for what seemed like hours, but Adrienne told me it was only 10-15 min. I could feel this bulging bag of waters at my entroitus and had even tried to rupture it myself with no luck. I asked Alice if rupturing the bag would speed things along. “It might,” she said. So not what I wanted to hear. Just as she was going to do it, my bag of waters broke on its own. I could feel the baby’s head come down and even feel it wiggling around (a very strange feeling). Again, something had changed…something was different. My body relaxed and I gave into what my body was doing. I stopped trying to be in control. I began to breathe my baby down like I had learned with hypnobirthing. She slowly descended over a few contractions. I could feel her head & all her hair in my hand. I got onto my knees as she crowned. I cried out for help after her head was delivered because I felt her cord wrapped around her neck. Alice & Christy quickly stepped in. She was delivered with ease and I lifted her from the water (at 1143p). She was beautiful & perfect. My mind & body was overflowing with emotions (hormones) as she lay on my chest.

My prayer had been heard & answered….my girls witnessed the birth of their sister in our home and they will ALWAYS know that they have a choice!